On the Same Level

~ 2 Minute Read.

You know how you some­times meet peo­ple who are just “on the same lev­el” as you are? To­day I had a su­per in­ter­est­ing con­ver­sa­tion with a col­legue of mine and it turned out she has pret­ty much the same mind­set as I have. 1 Ad­di­tion­al­ly she brought up an in­ter­est­ing idea:

With peo­ple on your lev­el you can talk for hours, for­get­ting the time; you “un­der­stand each oth­er”.

With peo­ple not on your lev­el you don’t get along, you do not feel re­laxed around them and don’t “let loose”, don’t al­low your­self to be your­self. Es­pe­cial­ly, if the oth­er per­son is above your lev­el: you look up to them and for­get that they are “just an­oth­er hu­man bee­ing”.

I fight against this hi­er­ar­chy and try to view ev­ery hu­man be­ing as “on my lev­el” even if they are that much more suc­cess­ful than I am at the mo­ment—not in a de­grad­ing way, I still high­ly re­spect their achieve­ments, the lev­el is on a hu­man, friend­ly ba­sis.

This needs to work in both ways. If you get the oth­er per­son “down to your lev­el” and hence feel com­fort­able be­ing your­self around them and the oth­er per­son “picks you up to their lev­el” (ev­ery par­tic­i­pant of a con­ver­sa­tion can on­ly change their view of the oth­er, hence adapt their per­spec­tive which mod­i­fies their be­hav­iour), then both can get along in a re­laxed and ca­su­al way. Which prob­a­bly leads to you en­joy­ing the con­ver­sa­tion way more.

If one part is un­able to do this, the en­tire thing fails: if I am able to get over the over­ly re­spect­ful men­tal­i­ty, but the oth­er doesn’t see me on his lev­el, I will be met with in­dif­fer­ence, un­note­wor­thy. If you are su­per re­spect­ful and up-tight, but the oth­er is try­ing to make you feel “friend”, that may make you feel more awk­ward even. In both sit­u­a­tions it is still worth try­ing to pro­voke the “get­ting the oth­er on the same lev­el”.

Con­clud­ing, I do not know an in­fal­li­able way to do so. Maybe body lan­guage, but that’s just a wild ran­dom though that just ap­peared out of nowhere.

Read more about it here.

Writ­ten in 25 min­utes, ed­it­ed in 5 min­utes.